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发表于 2017-8-6 21:18:04
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It struck me that if nothing is done to solve the social phenomenon, its
effect will be soon shown, which inevitably affects the development of the
harmonious society. So we should regard the trend rightly. We also should take
it into our accounts strictly. We should use the Net more reasonably. On no
account should we make the people longer by the computer. Only in this way can
we have a good generation foreseen. And a more harmonious society can be built
up.
评语:文章较好地完成了试题规定的任务,内容比较完整,既描述了漫画又揭示了隐含的意思,使用了比较丰富的句型结构和词语,使用了一定的连接手段,语言基本通顺,文章结构完整,层次清晰,易于理解,但是有一定数量的语言错误。
第三档范文 11分
As the picture vividly depict that internet like a net connect different
people in the world. You can communicate with your friends. No matter where they
live in, the distance no longer an obstacle in our communication.
The picture reflect a thought-provoking social phenomenon that people in a
mounting numbers use internet shopping, work, study and chatting with friends in
order to meet each other face and face. There are somewhat reasonable, but you
weighing in mind, you can find that distance between our spirit longer than
before. On the Internet we can not know each other very well, because some
people don't use their real name, even tell lies on internet. On the conterary,
if we meet each other face and face, it's better for communication.
Internet make the obstacle of distance vanished, benefit us a lot, we can
chating with our friends who live in a city that far from us. However, we should
take that serious internet make the distance of our spirit longer than before,
internet is a double-edge sword.
评语:该文包含多数内容要点;语法结构与词汇基本能够满足任务要求;有一些严重语法与用词错误,但不影响理解;内容较连贯,层次较清晰。但是第三部分主要是对第二部分的总结,评论简单。
第二档范文 7分
As can be seen from the picture, many people are sitting in the front of a
computers, who are basing in typing on the keyboard, but they don't immediate
communicate with each other though they live near. It looks like a bit pot,
everyone has its space, and the computer is necessary for them.
It goes without saying that this picture aims at reavling a common
phenomenon in our daily life, that is internet brings conviences to us, also
brings the distance for each other. Nowadays, we must believe that our
development can not leave the using of internet. We do any things through the
computer instead of saying "hello" to our families or colleagues face to
face.
In my opinion, we must realize the importance of the internet and also pay
more attentions to communicate with each other face to face. Do not make the
computer make a distant between us.
评语:该文遗漏题目要点,评论不够恰当,语言错误多,有些句子内容表达不清晰,字数不够。
第一档范文 3分
Largely through the influence of many people from different points of the
world. The old, the young and the student, they use the computers to constant
with another body.
Some people use computer to leare new knowledge, such as the students. Some
people use the computer to help them to complete their work. Such as the tank
workers. While some people use the computer to play games. For example, some old
person like to play game on computer.
Many people on computer is on Monday to Friday. But the player people is
everyday more or less. So the world is like a family. Since the computer with us
is to enable our to share in a common life we cannot help considering whether or
not we are forming the powers of the life’s happy.
评语:该文明显遗漏主要内容,不能反映需要表达的观点;语法与用词错误很多,妨碍理解,作者的语言运用能力差;字数不够。
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