考研英语小作文批改：投诉信5-7分例文4

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英语复习资料：作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理。
考研英语待批改作文：
5-7分
    第四篇
    Dear Sir ，
    I am a customer of your store. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about a box of pen that I bought it from yours.
    The reason for my dissatisfaction is the quality of the pens is bad. In the first place，I found there is less two pens when I opened the box. In addition，a pen was broken and it didn't work. Under these circumstances， I find it very to your store.
    I appreciate it very much if you could give me there pens，preferably replace the whole box，and I would like to have this matter settled by one day.
    Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
    Yours sincerely，
    Li Ming

考研英语作文批改点评如下：
    Dear Sir ，
    I am a customer of your store. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about a box of pen that I bought it（删除）from yours.
    The reason for my dissatisfaction is the quality of the pens is bad（删除）. In the first place，I found there is less two pens when I opened the box（不用there be 句型，可改为I found the box lacked of 2 pens when I opened it）. In addition，a pen was broken and it didn't work. Under these circumstances， I find it very to your store.
    I appreciate it very much if you could give me there(改为the extra) pens，preferably replace the whole box，and I would like to have this matter settled by（因为后面加的是具体时间，因此这里改为in） one day.
    Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
    Yours sincerely，
    Li Ming
    5分
    同学你好，考研小作文的字数要求是100词，不要超过太多，考试时间很紧张，把过多的时间用在写小作文上是不合理的。小作文字数已经很少了，因此尽量要避免出现整句错误。