考研英语小作文批改：投诉信0-4分例文2

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英语复习资料：作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理。
考研英语待批改作文：
0-4分
    第二篇
　　Dear Sales Manager,
    I am a senior in the Computer Science Department of Fudan University. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about this book Practical Writing for NETEM bought in your bookstore last week.
    The reason for my dissatisfaction is to exert amount of the obvious faults in this book. In the fist place, the explanation and analysis about the portion of reading comprehension is shown as uncertain to cause easily some mistakes in my mind. In addition, owing to not follow the standard form in print, the words and sentences can not be clearly identified. Under these circumstances, I find it worse to waste my valuable time and energy
    I appreciate it very much if you could be returned this book, preferably refund me the money, and I would like to have this matter settled within seven days.
    Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
    Yours sincerely,
    Li Ming
考研英语作文批改点评如下：
    Dear Sales Manager,
    I am a senior in the Computer Science Department of Fudan University. I feel bad to trouble you but I am afraid that I have to make a complaint about this book Practical Writing for NETEM bought in your bookstore last week.
    The reason for my dissatisfaction is to exert（改为 there are a）amount of the (删除)obvious faults in this book. In the fist（拼写错误，改为 first） place, the explanation and analysis about the portion of（删除 the portion of ） reading comprehension is shown as uncertain to cause easily some mistakes in my mind(不能理解你要表达的意思). In addition, owing to not follow the standard form in print, the words and sentences can not be clearly identified. Under these circumstances, I find it worse to waste my valuable time and energy（这句话没写完，后面还要加上to do …）.
    I appreciate it very much if you could be(删除be) returned(用词不当，此外，此处应该用动词原形) this book, preferably refund me the money, and I would like to have this matter settled within seven days.
    Thank you for your consideration and I will be looking forward to your reply.
    Yours sincerely,
    Li Ming
    3分
    同学你好，请注意提高英语的表达能力，你的作文中存在表述不清的句子，这在作文中是很严重的问题。建议你多背一些满分作文，积累一些好的句型。