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Dear Sir/（改为or）Madam,
I write this letter to you in order（删除，重复） to find a candidate for （改为of）the Project Hope, because I have decided to offer financial aid to a child in a remote area.
As there are many children who need help, maybe I should let you know that the candidate I want to help would be a girl in primary school.
I have planned （一般现在时就可以plan）to keep offering her 1000 yuan a year until she graduated（原型graduate） from junior high school. Besides, I am quite willing to send her some used clothes and books, and I would really like to write letters to her.
Thank you so much for doing me this favour. I am looking forward to your reply.Sincerely,
Li Ming
点评：8-9分
文章的语言流畅，内容完整，结构也较为清晰。只是出现了个别的表达错误，希望引以为鉴。有一点需要说明的，你稍有一些受中文思维的影响，这就要求你在今后的学习中注意多学习地道的英文表达。
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发表于 2017-8-6 15:44:47