2011考研英语作文批改范例4

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To whom It（it 不用大写） may concern,
    As a gold-collar worker who is living in a good environment, and （删掉）I am writing in the hope of your assistance to find a drop-out girl for whom I may provide financial support.
   
   
     I am hoping（hope） that the candidate is a girl from the less developed rural aeras (拼写，areas)of Western China .What’s more, the girl drop（主谓一致） out of school for the lack of money. In addition, she must be willing to return to his (her) hometown to help built it after graduation from university.
   
    I plan to offer 3000 yuan(首字母大写) per year to pay for her tuition fee and other school expenses until she graduates from university and hunts for a decent job.
   
   
     Thank you for your time !
   
    Yours sincerely,
    Li Ming
点评：7-8分
文章结构符合题目要求，涵盖了所有内容要点，层次比较清楚，只是因为文章出现了几处语法错误和拼写问题，导致文章整体质量有所下降。今后复习中要注意这些细节的安排，加油啊，只要稍加注意，你的作文就会是满分的。
    [b]