考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(255)

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考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：

Dear Sir or Madam,
    I am writing the letter for the purpose of inquiring some of questions as regards buying Mp3 at your Internet shop.I would be grateful if you are so kind as to provide me with certain essential information.
    First and foremost ,what functions dose the Mp4 include? All of my needs is ,just including the functions of listening music and reading novels.In addition ,how much dose it cost? I hope it has a reasonable price which I ,a common universitystudent ,can afford .Last but not least,I also want to know the terms of payments and the afer-service.>>
    Thank you for your time and consideration.Your promote attention to my questions would be highly appreciated.Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
     Yours Truly,
Li Ming.
   
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下：
   
Dear Sir or Madam,I am writing the letter for（改成in，in the purpose of）the purpose of inquiring some of questions as regards buying （加不定冠词an）Mp3 at your Internet shop. I would be grateful if you are so kind as to provide me with certain essential information. First and foremost, what functions dose the Mp4 include? All of my needs is（单复数保持一致）, （去掉逗号）just including the functions of listening music and reading novels. In addition, how much dose（does） it cost? I hope it has a reasonable price which I, a common universitystudent（这是两个词） , can afford .Last but not least, I also want to know the terms of payments and the afer-service（after-）.Thank you for your time and consideration. Your promote attention to myquestions would be highly appreciated. Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours Truly, Li Ming. （去掉句号）点评：6分字数超了。要注意细节。另外内容欠妥，按照常识，如果是网购的话，应该有图片和价格等信息，所以不需要再询问了。