Dear professer wang，I am a senior from the Department of economic and management of BeiJing normal university. I am writing the letter for purpose of inquiring some information about applying for graduate who regards your as my teacher.Because I will graduate from university and wish go further. During my university ，I unrally appreciate your articles so that intending to apply graduate. Some question need inquire as following. Firstly，I want to know whether you recruit students who was major personal resource management. Second，how much is new graduate’scholorship and how many percents are new gratuate; finally，whether or not requiring special or condition, such as two level of computer or member of the Chinese comunist.Words fail me when I wish to express my sincere gratitude to you.I look forward to a favorable reply at your earliest convenience. Your sincerely Ling Ming
考研英语作文批改点评如下：
Dear professer wang（Professor Wang），I am a senior from the Department of economic and management of BeiJing（Beijing） normal university（具体的学校首字母大写）. I am writing the letter for purpose of inquiring some information about applying for graduate who regards your（作宾语，改成you） as my teacher.Because I will graduate from university and wish （加不定式to）go further. During my university ，I unrally（拼写错误） appreciate your articles so that intending to apply graduate. Some question need inquire as following. Firstly，I want to know whether you recruit students who was major（加介词in） personal resource management. Second，how much is new graduate’scholorship（拼写错误） and how many percents are（加from） new gratuate（拼写错误）;（改成问号） finally，whether or not requiring special or condition（这不是一句完整的话，没有主语和谓语）, such as two level of computer or member of the Chinese comunist（拼写错误）.Words fail me when I wish to express my sincere gratitude to you. I look forward to a favorable reply at your earliest convenience. Your（Yours） sincerely（加逗号） Ling Ming（Li）点评：5分超出字数比较多，另外错误比较多。这种问题的小作文语言要简练，第二段前两句话可以直接去掉。建议看一下范文。
发表于 2017-8-6 14:08:28