考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(185)

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考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：

Dear Sir or Madam,
     As I am a superfans of LosAngle Lakers.I have decided to obtain some details about next season's tickets.
     Firstly,please give me particular accounts as regards times,opponents and prices of these tickets.Secondly,I also need to know the terms of payment and after-sell service.Thirdly,I wonder if it is convenient for you to deliver thetickets by DHL to me before the new season starts.My address isat the top of the page.
     I would like to express my gratitude for your kind consideration of my requests.I look forward to hearing from you soon.
    Yours Sincerely,
    Li Ming
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下：
   
Dear Sir or Madam, 【As I am a superfans（a super fan） of LosAngle（拼写错误） Lakers.】（这不是一句完整的话，句号改成逗号） I have decided to obtain some details about next season's tickets. Firstly, please give me particular accounts as regards times, opponents and prices of these tickets. Secondly, I also need to know the terms of payment and after-sell service. Thirdly, I wonder if it is convenient for you to deliver thetickets by DHL to me before the new season starts. My address isat the top of the page. I would like to express my gratitude for your kind consideration of my requests. I look forward to hearing from you soon.Yours Sincerely,Li Ming点评：5-6分开头第一句错误太多，会影响老师对你作文的印象。模板味道太浓，一般买球票不像买电器一样会涉及到很多after-sell service。要适当加入自己的语言。