考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(105)

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考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：

Dear Sir or Madam,
     Informed of the advertised position on your website, I am writing to apply for a job as an editor of fashion designing for your magazine.
     As a matter of fact, I once worked as a secretary to a deputy manager of an advertising company. However, as a young girl whose primary interest is in fashion and writing and speciality is costume designing, I find the editorial occupation does fall in with my previous training and strength. I, therefore, really wish to get a chance of an interview.
     I would be much grateful if you are so kind as to take my application into consideration. My telephone number is 18912345678.I'm looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.
    Yours truly,
    Li Ming
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下：
Dear Sir or Madam,Informed of the advertised position on your website, I am writing to apply for a job as an editor of fashion designing for your magazine.As a matter of fact, I once worked as a secretary to a deputy manager of（改成介词in） an advertising company. However, as a young girl whose primary interest is in fashion and writing and（加whose）speciality（拼写错误） is costume designing, I find the editorial occupation does fall in with my previous training and strength. I, therefore, really wish to get a chance of an interview.I would be much grateful if you are so kind as to take my application into consideration. My telephone number is 18912345678. I'm looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.Yours truly,Li Ming点评：6-7分第二段稍显空洞。最好让语言简练一些，然后添加一些实质性的内容。