考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(119)

考研网

考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：

Dear Sir or Madam,
     Seeing a wanted inform in the internet, I would like to introduce myself to apply this vacant. I would express my sincere appreciation for your kind consideration.
     I am a graduate student studied in the department of education in TJ University. This job is just comfort to my interest and former training. Firstly, I am in the top twenty in my class, which shows my hard work in studying. Secondly, despite study, I present in a variety activities and I have been the master of the Student Union for a whole year in my third year. These colorful experiences bring me a sense of responsibility.
     Considering all above, I suppose I am qualified for the working of this job. My phone number is 13*******, call me anytime at your convenience. Thank you for your time and consideration. Look forward to hearing from you.
     Yours truly,
     Li Ming
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下：
   
Dear Sir or Madam, Seeing a wanted inform in the internet（on the Internet）, I would like to introduce myself to apply this vacant. I would express my sincere appreciation for your kind consideration.（这是写在结尾的内容） I am a graduate student studied in the department of education in TJ University. This job is just comfort（这是个动词，前面还有个动词is，所以这里不能用动词原形） to my interest and former training. Firstly, I am in the top twenty in my class（改成school更有吸引力）, which shows my hard work in studying. Secondly, despite study, I present in a variety activities and I have been the master of the Student Union for a whole year in my third year. These colorful experiences bring me a sense of responsibility. Considering all above, I suppose I am qualified for the working of this job. My phone number is 13*******, call me anytime at your convenience. Thank you for your time and consideration. Look forward to hearing from you. Yours truly, Li Ming点评：6分结尾需要简化，建议看一下范文，明确每段应该写什么。要简练。