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考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改(50)

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发表于 2017-8-6 14:07:39 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改,新东方在线考研频道编辑整理,总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文:
Dear Sir or Madam,
     I am a graduate from the Department of Chinese Language and Literature of Beijing University.I am writing this letter to apply for the position of being a staff member which you recently advertised.
     I am sure that I am qualified for it.First,enclosed with my resume,which futher details my academic qualifications and work experiences.Second,not only do my qualifications and experience make me perfect for the position,my cheerful personality is well candidated to becoming a staff member.Third,my hobbies include sports and music.
     I would appreciate if you could grant me an interview so that I could explain in more details of the relevance of my educational background and working experience.I am looking forward to hearing from you.
     Yours sincerely,
    Li Ming
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下:
    Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a graduate from the Department of Chinese Language and Literature of Beijing University. I am writing this letter to apply for the position of being a staff member which you recently advertised. I am sure that I am qualified for it. 【First, enclosed with my resume, which futher details my academic qualifications and work experiences. 】(这一部分放到本段最后)Second, not only do my qualifications and experience make me perfect for the position, my cheerful personality is well candidated to becoming a staff member. Third, my hobbies include sports and music.(这与求职没有直接的关系) I would appreciate if you could grant me an interview so that I could explain in more details of the relevance of my educational background and working experience. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely,Li Ming点评:5分第二段写的不充分,出去与说明自己无关的话,只有一句话是在推销自己。
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