考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(58)

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考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：
Dear Sir or Madam,
     I had read your advertisement for an editor for your magazine "Design and Fashions" several days ago,51job daily.I would be much grateful if you could give me a chance to work for you.
     As a young man whose interest is in fashion designing, the position you offered is exactly like the kind of job I am seeking for.Igraduated from Shanghai University with a degree in art,and I had worked in a relevant company for two years before.I had learned a lot from theexperience of havingworked there!What's more,I am an easy-going people,andIhave passed CET-6.I can speak English fluently.I do believe that Icould get along with you if I have the opportunity to work with you.
     Thank you for your time and consideration,I am looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.
    Yourssincerely,
    LiMing
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下：
Dear Sir or Madam, I had（去掉，这里用过去时，或者是现在完成时have read） read your advertisement for an editor for your magazine "Design and Fashions"（去掉引号，英语中不这样用） several days ago, （加介词on或from）51job daily. I would be much grateful if you could give me a chance to work for you. As a young man whose interest is in fashion designing, the position you offered is exactly like the kind of job I am seeking for. Igraduated from Shanghai University with a degree in art, and I had worked in a relevant company for two years before. I had learned a lot from theexperience（这个表达不好，从经验中学到很多，应该是从工作中学到很多，学到的东西称之为经验） of havingworked there!（不要用感叹号） What's more, I am an easy-going people, andIhave passed CET-6.I can speak English fluently. I do believe that Icould get along with you if I have the opportunity to work with you.（这一句话建议去掉，或者是换做直接描述自己有很好的personality的句子） Thank you for your time and consideration, （加连词and）I am looking forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.Yourssincerely,LiMing（落款部分位于右下角）点评：6分注意遣词造句和你的逻辑。