考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(21)

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考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：
Dear Miss Chen:
I am thank for you can spend your precious time reading my letter. The reason of writing this letter for me is today I find the message of recruiting about HR assistant on your company's website. I make insterested in this position and I want to apply for it.
Next I want to talk about my capability and experience for applying the job. I had been graduated from my university nearly one year. My major is English, but after finishing my university life, I worked in SN company and afforded the work of shop HR assistant.So I can skillfully operate the five object in human
resource:Salary,Recruitment,Trainging and so on. I can aslo skillfully operate the Word ,Excel and PPT. My deposition is outer and my ability of talking and communicating with somebody is great.
So I feel I alreadly fit for the needing of recruitng this position, if you give a chance for me trying it ,I will do my best in this positon. I would appreciate for the apply if you as soon as possibie. My contacted pnone number is 13757194566.
     Yous sincerely
LiMing
2011,16th,October
   
     考研英语作文批改点评如下：
Dear Miss Chen:（改成逗号）
I am thank for you can spend（thank you for spending） your precious time reading my letter. The reason of writing this letter for me（去掉，或者改成of me，建议去掉） is（加that，这里的that不能省略） today I find（应该用过去式，因为这个动作已经发生） the message of recruiting about HR assistant on your company's website. I make insterested（am interested） in this position and I want to apply for it.
Next I want to talk about my capability and experience for applying the job. I had been graduated from my university nearly one year. My major is English, but after finishing my university life, I worked in SN company（具体的某个公司的名称，首字母要大写）and afforded the work of shop HR assistant. So I can skillfully operate the five object（应该用复数） in human resource: Salary, Recruitment（r不用大写）, Trainging（training） and so on. I can aslo（拼写错误also） skillfully operate the Word, Excel and PPT. My deposition is outer（这里要表达的是什么意思？） and my ability of talking and communicatingwith somebody is great.
So I feel I alreadly（拼写错误，建议去掉这个词） fit for the needing of recruitng（拼写错误recruiting） this position, if you give a chance for me trying（to try或是of trying） it , I will do my best in this positon（拼写错误，position）. I would appreciate for the apply if you as soon as possibie（possible拼写错误，从句结构不完整，没有谓语动词）. My contacted pnone（拼写错误，phone） number is 13757194566.点评：4-5分要简洁明了，第一段我在哪看到招聘信息，应聘什么职位。第二段我有什么学历、什么工作经验、什么个人秉性等。第三段期待你的回复。所有的内容要简要说明就可以了，不是大作文，不要要写的内容很多。表达方面有待加强，需要看一看句子结构句式的语法信息。