考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改(38)

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考研英语复习资料：考研英语作文范文批改，新东方在线考研频道编辑整理，总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文：
Dear Sir or Madam
     I am writing to express my interest to your recent advertised
    position for a waitress in yourrestuarant.Enclosed with this letter is my
    resume which further details my qualifications and previous worke
    experience.
     As a young man whose primary interest is in providing service to
    others,I find the position does fall in with my former training and
    strength.No only do my qualifications and work experience make me a
    perfect candidate for the job,but my personality is well suited to
    working as a waitress.I am a very friendly man who can quickly establish
    the rapport with people of all ages.
     I appreciate your consideration of my application.I look forward to
    meeting you in the near future.
     Sincerely
    LiMing
   
考研英语作文批改点评如下：


   
Li Ming】（落款部分位于右下角）
点评：5-6分
   
   
   
   
虽然waitress是一个很普通的职业，但是这封求职信并不是很好写，第二段中你前两个方面的内容比较空洞，只是大概的说了一下有意愿有经验，所以要注意选材。
Dear Sir or Madam（加逗号） I am writing to express my interest to（一般用in， interest in）your recent advertised position for a waitress in your restaurant（拼写错误）. Enclosed with this letter is my resume which further details my qualifications and previous worke（拼写错误）experience. As a young man whose primary interest is in providing service to others, I find the position does fall in with my former training and strength. No（应该是Not）only do my qualifications and work experience make me a perfect candidate for the job, but my personality is well suited to working as a waitress. I am a very friendly man who can quickly establish the rapport with people of all ages. I appreciate your consideration of my application. I look forward to meeting you in the near future. 【Sincerely（一般用Yours sincerely，注意最后有逗号）