水资源危机:
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写作原文
What a thought-provoking picture! In the picture, many people who are
taking bowls are rapidly running to the death, and everyone is urgently hoping
to get some water, but the death seems to be seriously weak because of lacking
water(加逗号)too. Undoubtly(拼写错误，改为Undoubtedly), we all konw(拼写错误，改为know) the water
is very important to humanity, and the lack of water sources is becoming
increasingly serious problem(去掉problem，该句话意思为“水资源的短缺变得越来越严重”) in zhe(拼写错误，改为the)
moder(拼写错误，改为modern) society. Indeed, on the earth, there exist(改为exists) a lot
of water, including the river, the sea and the water under the earth,
bue(拼写错误，改为but) there is a phenomenon of water shortage, why? On(改为For，注意for one
thing为固定用法;不要将其与on one hand弄混淆) one thing, we can not(改为don't，仅表示否定，而can
not表示“不能”)make use of all water on the earth ,such as the water in the sea
.On(改为For) another, with the developmeng(改为development) of society, people need
more and more water to promote the
economy(为什么发展经济需要越来越多的水呢?有什么依据?注意写作中的论据一定要有说服力), and the pollution of water is
becoming an increasingly serious problem .And above all, people do not have an
awareness of protecting water sources. In order to ease this problem, various
steps have to be adapted(改为adopted，注意区分adopt和adapt，前者为“采取”，后者为“适应”) and both the
government and everyong(改为everyone) could not shirk their accountability.
Firstly, the government should make relevang(拼写错误，改为relevant) laws and
regulationgs(拼写错误，改为regulations) to protect water. And then, what
shuold(拼写错误，改为should，且should应放在we之后，切记：从句均要用陈述语序) we do is very
simple,(中间应加连词)everyone do not waste water (可将这句话改为what we should do is that
everyone cannot waste water, which is very simple). I am firmly convinced that
under people'(改为people's)efforts the problem will be solved and we will have a
good future .
总体点评
考研英语作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握，但文中还存在个别简单的问题，比如：文中的单词拼写错误较多，这些错误可能是由于作者在电脑输入过程中造成的，以后应该注意，无论是手写版还是电子版，都应该保证单词的准确。其次，建议作者加强语句组织能力，多积累并模仿经典语句，不断提高自己的写作能力。建议作者在写作完之后花费几分钟时间来回读文章，这样便会减少不必要的错误。
参考分数(满分20分)：11
英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。
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发表于 2016-7-11 08:46:17