全程班考研英语作文批改范例二

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The set of drawing above vividly depicts a flower is pleaced （拼写错误）in different circumstance. In first picture the flower is pleaced （拼写错误）in greenhouse which pretent （Protects）flower from streatening and storm. （sandstorm）In second picture the flower is removed exposing to driving rain, with the flower fade. （这里变成一句完整的话，and the flower fades.）
To begin with, the purpose of two cartoon （复数形式）is that the flower in greenhouse can't afford （经受得住用withstand）storm. Secondly, The （不在句首，不用大写）symbol meaning of pictures imply that young peple （拼写错误）should undergo challegen （拼写错误）, Thus （同样，不需要大写）we can sovle （拼写错误）some problems which we will encounter. In nowdays china （这个语序很别扭，改成nowadays in China, 注意中国大写首字母）, many families only have one children （这是复数形式，用单数，child）. Those children get more love than any generation formly （Formerly）. They are too spoild（拼写错误） to deal with shmething （Problems）which they should do （Encounter）.
Accordingly, It（不在句首，不用大写） is vital for us experience （To experience…）some challengens （拼写错误）, now parents should give thire （拼写错误）children more freedom to deal with trouble and problems, Thus they will be personality and ability,（这句话可以删掉，直接写后面的就很好）in this way they become winners in competitive world.
    点评：9-10分
    文章整体的结构把握的还可以，就是内容方面有欠缺。注意第一段的描述要言简意赅，描述反映主题的图画说明。第二段你是在论述这个现象，需要加强句子内部之间的逻辑性。第三段注意逻辑性。
    语言方面，首先要注意由于马虎造成的拼写错误，其次要注意词汇的正确用法。考前这段时间要集中精力把批注中的错误改正并记住。加油！