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To whom it mayconcern,
I am writing to express my request to support tuition fee of (是否需要去掉？)（建议删掉）a stundent （student）in （需要冠词a）remote area.
I wonder if it is convenvient（convenient） for you to offer me partcular（particular） accounts of the child regarging（reagarding） his/（or）her family background.Firstly, thechild mostcome from WestChina（建议改为I prefer a child from the western part of China） because it is improtant to trainthe talent（educat a talent哪一个更好？） for local area（根据你要表达的意思，建议改为It is important to develop the education situation there. ）. Secondly, the child was forced to drop out of school for the reasonthat family couldnot afford his/ her education.
I will provide allhis/her expendure（expenditure） at school untill（until） he/she graduates fromschool. I promise(It is conviced哪一个更好？ )（原文更好） thatI will perform my responsibilities(try my best to carry out my plan哪一个更好？).（都可以）
I would like to （只需要would，would like to do意义不同。）be grateful for your replay.
Yourssincerely
Li Ming
点评：4-5分
文章内容是完整的，结构也较为清晰，但是语言表达不够好，而且单词拼写错误较多。
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发表于 2017-8-6 15:44:45