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2011考研英语作文批改范例9

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发表于 2017-8-6 15:44:39 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
To whom it may concern,
   
     As a student who can support myself, I am writing to request if you could kindly help me find a potential beneficiary of Project Hope.
   
     The primary criteria are as follows. To begin with, I would like to help a child from the quake zone (the earthquake-stricken area)of Sichuan Province if it is convenient for you. In addition, it will be better if his or her performance at school is taken into account. I prefer to the candidate who has an outstanding school record.
   
     If you approve of my application, I will supply financial assistance to the recipient constantly until he or she graduates from college. The money will cover his or her tuition fee and other expenses at school. Besides, I will keep in touch with him or her so that he or she can seek advice if needed. Your prompt attention to my inquiry would be highly appreciated.
   
     Yours Sincerely,
   
     Li Ming
点评:9分
文章结构和内容完全符合题目要求,层次清楚,语言流畅,美中不足的是出现了一个表达错误,今后一定要注意细节问题,冲刺满分!加油啊!
    [b]
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