|
|
写作原文
The drawing indicates a long banner with the word “volunteer” and a website about volunteering on it ,and lots of people isportarying the outline of their hands to show sportive.Simple as it is,the picture reveals an exciting phenomenon that more and more people are willing to be volunteers.As the society developments, our material comforts are considerably enhanced, thus, we are capable of the time and energy to help others. At the same time,with the moral climate is getting better, which is under everybody’s efforts,the members of these volunteering organizations are mostly never asking for any rewards either on fame or money,so that the organizations can survive easily. It is hopeful that we will enjoy a more harmony society in the future,if the things developes like this.Therefore,when we are eager to show our kindness,it is really necessary to keep our mind clear. For one thing, one should never give up once he begins to be a volunteer.For another,volunteer work is also a responsiblity , just as our normal work,so do try our best.
总体点评
文章构思不错，但结尾较为仓促，说服力不强。文中还是存在一些基本的语法问题，作者后面应该加强;其次，注意词性的正确使用;再者，建议作者在文章句子上下功夫，尽量摆脱汉语思维模式，多记多模仿一些高分佳句，并将其熟练运用于自己的文章中，使自己的作文水平不断提升。期待着你的成功，加油!
|
|
发表于 2016-7-11 08:47:15