看图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型，一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评，针对其中的错误进行自我修正。
男女失衡：
dd81b56a9d2e424db849774fdec27663.jpg
写作原文
In the picture,there is an
unbalanced(改为imbalanced，imbalance表示“失衡，不平衡”，而unbalance表示“[力]失衡，精神错乱”) seesaw on
which the one side sitting a woman with her body shaking(可改为where a women is
sitting with her body shaking on the one side), and on the other side,15 men are
going down on their knees asking(改为to ask，用动词不定时表示目的) the woman to marry them.
The picture reveals the unbalanced(改为imbalanced)sex ratio in our country. So
what causes this phenomenon? In my opinion, there are mainly two reasons. First,
the conception "prefer sons to daughters" is very popular in our country.
Through(改为Though，through为介词“通过”，though则表示“虽然”) it is not as intensive as in the
old society, most parents, especially the ones in remote areas still want to
have a son. Further more, along with the "Birth control" policy, some parents
would(情态动词使用不当，可改为may) choose to abandon their child when they know she is a
girl. In order to solve this problem, various measures have to be adopted. As to
the government, it should draw up laws to reinforce the punishment of abortion.
As to the parents, they should change their prejudice to children, and build up
the conception of "It makes no differences if the baby is a girl or a boy". I
think under the joint effort of the government and the individuals, the
condition of unbalanced(改为imbalanced) sex ratio will be improved in the near
future.
总体点评
整体来说，文章写得不错;但还存在个别简单的语法错误。作者在写作完之后若可以花费几分钟时间来回读文章，便会减少不必要的错误。考研作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握，后面要做的就是多积累高分佳句，为自己的文章增彩;再者，写完之后一定要认真检查，减少失分点。
参考分数(满分20分)：13
英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。
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发表于 2016-7-11 08:46:25