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考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改(129)

考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改,新东方在线考研频道编辑整理,总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文:

Dear Sir or Madam,
   I am a staff member from Motorola Electronics,our corporation is planning to substitute new office desks for old ones.We have decided to place an order of some desks from you.
   Firstly,please give me some detailed information as regards designs ,colors ,sizes,prices of your production.Secondly,I want to know the specific terms of payment and relevant after-sell service.Thirdly,I wander if you party will be in charge of transport.
    Thanks for your prompt attention.I look forward to your reply.
   Yours sincerely,
   LiMing
   
   考研英语作文批改点评如下:
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a staff member from Motorola Electronics,(加连词and) our corporation is planning to substitute new office desks for old ones. We have decided to place an order of some desks from you. Firstly, please give me some detailed information as regards designs, colors, sizes, prices of your production. Secondly, I want to know the specific terms of payment and relevant after-sell service. Thirdly, I wander if you(应该用所有格形式your) party(建议用company) will be in charge of transport.Thanks for your prompt attention. I look forward to your reply. Yours sincerely, LiMing点评:7-8分写的很好,注意以下细节,为了够字数,建议再加一条咨询。
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