考研网 发表于 2017-8-6 14:07:34

考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改(60)

考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改,新东方在线考研频道编辑整理,总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文:
Dear Sir or Madom,
   I am a senior from department of Computer Science,I am writing to you for applying fortheposition of an Internet administrator which your recently advertised.
   I am sure that I can qualitied for it.First,enclosed with this letter is my resum,which further details my previous training and strength and working experiences.Moreover,not only do my qualitifications and experiences make me perfect candidate for it,my interactive personal skill and teamwork spirt are well suited for working asan Internet administrator.
   Finally,I would be much grateful if you are so kind as to arrange an interview so that I could explain in more details in person the relevanceof my educational background and working experiences.
      yours truly,
      Li Ming
   
   考研英语作文批改点评如下:
Dear Sir or Madom(拼写错误),
I am sure that I can qualitied(拼写错误) for it. First, enclosed with this letter is my resum(拼写错误), which further details my previous training and strength and working experiences. Moreover, not only do my qualitifications(拼写错误) and experiences make me(加不定冠词a) perfect candidate for it, my interactive personal skill and teamwork spirt(拼写错误) are well suited for working asan Internet administrator. Finally, I would be much grateful if you are so kind as to arrange an interview so that I could explain in more details in person the relevanceof my educational background and working experiences(这一部分可以去掉,因为interview基本上会涉及这些内容).yours(Yours)truly,Li Ming点评:6分第二段的结构会让你的内容不是很充实,不如简要的介绍一下你的学历和工作经验,最后说附上简历。最后一段可以加一句I'm looking forward to blabla之类的话。
I am a senior from department of Computer Science, (加连词and或是把前边的逗号改为句号)I am writing to you for applying(用to apply更顺畅一些) fortheposition of an Internet administrator which your recently advertised.
页: [1]
查看完整版本: 考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改(60)