考研网 发表于 2017-8-6 14:07:29

考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改(39)

考研英语复习资料:考研英语作文范文批改,新东方在线考研频道编辑整理,总有一篇适用你。
考研英语待批改作文:
DearManager,
    WhenIreadyouradvertisementinthenewspaper,IreallyhavepassiontoapplyapositionofTechnicalDirector.
    It'sagiantchallengetoputmytechnicalknowledgeintopractice.>>
    Therehavetworeasonsforthisapplicationasfollow.Firstofall,Ihavesix_yearexperienceasanAssistantTechnicalDirector
    inaninternationalcompany,whichmademecoulddealwithdifferenttechnicalproblemsassoonaspossible.
    Secondly,asagraduatestudentwhofinishedtechnicalprograminaspecializationcollege,Ihavealargenumberoftechnicalcertifications.>>
    Therehaveastrongambitioninmymind,pushingmewanttoworkforyourcompanyasanTechnicalDirector.
    Iattachedmyresumeasbelow,pleaseread.Iwillbeappreciatedifyoucangivemeaninterview.Lookingforwardtoyourreply.
    Thankyouverymuch!
   Yoursfaithfully,
   LiMing.

考研英语作文批改点评如下:
Dear Manager,
When I read your advertisement in the newspaper, I really have passion to apply a position of(改成for,apply for) Technical Director.It's a giant challenge to put my technical knowledge into practice.There have two reasons for this application as follow. First of all, I have six_year(six-year) experience as an Assistant Technical Directorin an international company, which made me could deal with different technical problems as soon as possible.Secondly, as a graduate student who finished technical program in a specialization college, I have a large number of technical certifications.There have a strong ambition in my mind, pushing me want(去掉,pushing可以表达此意)to work for your company as an(应该用a) Technical Director.I attached my resume as(去掉)below, please read. I will be appreciated if you can give me an interview. Looking forward to your reply.Thank you very much!(这一部分去掉) Yours faithfully,
Li Ming.点评:6分最后一段简洁结尾即可。中间的部分是文章的主题,第二条内容有点空。语言表达能力有待加强。
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