新东方：2007年考研写作例文批改
·实用宝典:2010年考研初试应考注意事项·2010年考研英语写作热点话题预测及示例
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2007年考研作文题是场足球赛，射门球员和守门员在关键时刻都把对手想象得过于高大，以至于自己很渺小。 Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should o 1) describe the drawing briefly, o 2) explain its intended meaning, and then o 3) support your view with an example/examples.
How enlightening and compelling the above drawings are! 1 A football-player is prepared to kick a ball towards the net, where a goal-keeper keeps guard. However, in the player's mind appears a scene in which the keeper becomes a giant covering the net completely, while the latter imagines that he turns out to be a dwarf standing below the huge net 1. In such a simple way the author 2of the drawing has managed to arouse public awareness of the essentiality of self-confidence.
The implied meaning conveyed by the drawings should be taken into account seriously. With the development of the economy, self-confidence is admired and highlighted in every country and every nation 2, la3ck of self-confidence, on the contrary, is generally regarded as irrationality. First and foremost, there is no doubt that no issue is as helpful as self-confidence to build up4 a harmonious society. In addition, if we lack of self-confidence, we will live a dull and depressing life and feel frustrated about the future. As we know, Qian Xuesen, the father of Chinese ART (incorrect use of the article. Of the Chinese…article is required) missile program，has said that self-confidence is significant to us. Therefore, it can be safely concluded that self-confidence plays an indispensable and irreplaceable role in our life and work.3
Since many of the philosophic principle PLU(error in singular/plural form. principles) we adhere to are abstracted from the ART (the article is not required here) daily life, it is easy to find that CUT(this word is not required here) examples in the world around us. The idea illustrated in this picture is no exception. For instance, Zhang Haidi, the new president of China Disabled Persons Federation, writes in her newly published book （HOPE）, that self-confidence is the footstone of success.4 In fact, everyone has surely seen similar evidence of this truth in the POW (poor word selection, their) own life. Only when we pay close attention to it can we finally accomplish the noble goal of a harmonious society.5
评论 （请查看灰色阴影部分相对应的数字角标）：
1. Technically this statement is not incorrect, but consider better ways to express this.
（表达方式不是很正确，建议考虑其他词汇表达）
2. "author" refers to written works..revise the term.
（author通常指写作的人，建议修改）
3. the lack of self-confidence,...
4. develop...
观点支持（请查看蓝色部分相对应的数字角标）
1. Excellent! Well done. A very good summery.
2. Excellent word choice. An impressive statement.
3. Excellent! Well done.
4. Excellent word choice. An good example.
5. Excellent word choice. An excellent conclusion.
反馈：（老师在批改完成后对整篇文章的总结）
A very good piece of writing. I am impressed with your interpretation and creative thinking. Your essay is well structured and you provide very clear and distinct examples to support your view. There are minor grammar errors which I have marked and you should review them. The most significant impression you left me with, was the originality. I enjoyed your work, well done!
非常好的一篇作文，对文章有自己的观点和理解。文章结构很清晰，所举出的例子也完全支持所阐述的观点。文中细小的语法错误已经纠正，希望加以改正。文章整体思路清晰，思路有独创性，继续努力！
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